Cold Water
by Bitter Smiles
Summary: Twisting. Gasping. Reaching…reaching for what? SayaxHagi R&R, please
1. Chapter 1

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine.

Chapter One

Twisting. Gasping. Reaching…reaching for what? All I can comprehend is the darkness around me. And the sleeping part of my soul I seek so desperately to awaken. I see a face, gentle but anguished. Young, but ancient in the heart. He smiles at me, a smile that makes me torn between smiling in return or screaming out. Why? Who is it? Who am I? What have I lost?

Hagi…his name comes and something I have yet to understand washes through me. All the guilt and the pain tears through me so abruptly that my lungs seem to clamp up and I cannot take a single breath. I'm choking on it, thrashing about only to find myself on the dark cold stone floor. Fluid and remains of the cocoon that had entrapped me lie scattered about on the ground.

That's right. I'm not…human. "Saya?" comes a voice from beyond the darkness of this place. "Saya!!?"

My eyes tilt up enough to see red hair glinting softly from the moonlight outside. His eyes stare down at me, expectant and unsure. "Do you know who I am, Saya?"

My mind grasps for the name, but it escapes me. I see Hagi's once more and my arms wrap themselves around my shoulders. The man comes over and drapes his coat across my shoulders. "Kai…"I whispered, hoping the name was correct. "Thank you."

He just fell to his knees and hugged me, thirty years of patience in that grip. When he pulls back I notice the flecks of grey here and there. I smile, sad but genuine, and Kai laughs in return. "I'm thirty years older, but I'm still getting around just fine, don't worry."

And then I see Diva's face, a mix between fear and sympathy overtake me for a moment. Her two children…those twins…where are they? "My sister…where are Diva's children?" I ask hesitantly.

Kai helps me stand and we walk out into the moonlight. I keep glancing at his face, trying to read the expression, but his face stays hard. That look made him look like 60 years had passed, not thirty. I grip his hand as I stumble slightly on the last of the stairs, and finally Kai speaks to me. "The truth is…we aren't sure where they are. Some organization David didn't even know about apprehended them one night on their way to school. I raised them for five years, and they just stole them away from me!"

His fist slams into the wall of the bar, our old 'home'. I touch his shoulder. "It's not your fault Kai. I'm the one who was asleep…I wasn't here to protect them…I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he mumbles. "This one is completely mine."

Silence consumes the room, and my memories wash through me. "Are you tired?" Kai asks, a yawn of his own escaping him. "your room is still the same as you left it. I've just washed the sheets over the years."

Then his face reddens a moment as I nod. "And your clothes too."

I suddenly realized I was still nude, only his jacket to cover me, and I thank him and make my way up the stairs. It seems like I had just been walking up them yesterday, not thirty years ago. I open up my closet and slip on my old white nightgown before climbing into bed. The familiarity is almost painful.

And then his face enters my mind again. Hagi…I touch my lips remembering our final moments together, and I stifle a scream with my pillow. "It's all my fault…what's the point of waking up?" I think, angry and crying now.

Faintly I hear some low notes drifting through the window. Notes from…a cello? I jump to my feet and rush to the window, half expecting to see him outside on the street. My heart sank as I realized no one was there. Just the empty street. And the sad, drifting music had stopped. "Saya," comes a voice from behind me, and I freeze.

AN: This is my first blood+ fic, please review!


	2. Chapter 2

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine

Chapter Two

My heart had nearly jumped out of it's chest at the voice, but I sighed in relief to see it was just Kai. "Did I scare you?" he asked softly, something pained lingering in his eyes.

"No.." I lied, unable to tell him I had just hoped it was someone else.

But his mind beat me to it. "Were you thinking about Hagi?" He asked in a calm enough tone, but I knew it was forced.

"I thought I heard…his cello," I admitted, staring back towards to window. "Right outside."

"He's dead,. Saya," Kai said softly, gripping my shoulders lightly.

"No, he's not!" I shouted, pushing him away from me and climbing into bed. "Goodnight."

Kai's face looked so pained I had to turn away before I started crying again. I was sorry. It's not Kai's fault, he's just being honest. He left the room, closing it behind him with a sigh. Flooded with guilt, I managed, somehow, to fall asleep. My dreams took me back to Vietnam, when I had let insanity consume my senses and given in to the bloodshed surrounding me. I had been a monster then, and it frightened me that some part of me now longed for that. Perhaps if I went berserk again, they'd put me back to sleep. Then I wouldn't remember the pain when I woke up. I wouldn't remember anything…

Morning came and I pushed away the dark thoughts that still coursed through my mind. Kai would never forgive me for that. He had breakfast ready at the table, and smiled when I sat down and my stomach gave a low growl. "You haven't changed!" he grinned.

Haven't I? I mused. "Neither have you, " I smiled back. "Except for that grey hair, of course."

We laughed for a moment and then ate our breakfast. When Kai finished, he looked at me with hopeful eyes. "You know, Kaori still lives near here, taking care of her mom," he said. "You could visit her if you want."

"No," I replied flatly.

"Why not?" he demanded. "It's been thirty years. Don't you even want to see her? She was your best friend."

"No, Kai," I repeated. "She was my best friend. But it HAS been thirty years. How do you think she'd take it seeing me exactly the same. She'd be afraid, think I was inhuman, or worse. A monster."

"Is that really what you think?" he asked, shielding the grief in his eyes.

"Yes," I whispered, tears stinging at my eyes.

"Alright then," he said, sitting up and putting our dishes in the sink. "What about the beach? Would you like to go there?"

"Sure," I managed a small smile.

Relieved, he finished up the dishes and I went upstairs to get dressed. I settled for a light blue sundress and avoided the mirror. My eyes seemed red each time I looked, but I knew they weren't, yet.

Kai was waiting at the door with a beach bag and we left for the beach. It wasn't crowded in our place, nor did it ever seem to be. As Kai stuck an umbrella into place with a blanket to sit on as well, I made my way toward the water. I shivered as the cool water rose and caressed my skin briefly before being sucked back. Kai was standing next to me now, looking curiously at me. "did you wear a swimsuit under that?"

"Oh!" I said, embarrassed. "Actually, I forgot…but it's okay, I can just go in like this."

Before he could stop me, I was wading out through the waves in my dress. It didn't really matter, I realized. My dress clung to me until I finally was out deep enough to float. "Saya!" Kai called, still fairly close to shore. "Be careful!"

I smiled at his warning and lay floating on my back. The waves thrashed gently beneath me, and I could have gone to sleep right there in the cool waters. My head dipped under enough to that my ears were completely underwater, and I heard it again. The long, agonizing notes of the cello. They were haunting me. Or was it Hagi himself haunting me? I turned and dove down into the water, letting a wave catch me and torrent about. I twisted with the force of it, a few rocks and broken bits if shell scraping my skin as I swirled underwater. Finally the wave had reached the shore, and I slammed into the sand with breath-stealing force.

Kai came running over to me, his eyes so very frantic. "What?" I smiled, spitting water up at him. "It was fun."

"Fun?" he said incredulously, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration. "You're bleeding."

I hadn't even felt the pain, and Kai picked me up roughly. "We're going to see Julia."


	3. Chapter 3

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine…

Chapter Three

"_This dream that I see, don't kill it, it's free…you're just a man, you get what you can….we all do just what we can, so we can do just one more thing…"_

-Cat Power/Chan Marshall-

I just stared quietly out the window until we reached the bar and Kai called Julia over. The tension of his withheld anger left the room close to suffocating. "I'm sorry Kai," I said finally, not sure what I was apologizing for.

"It's fine…just don't do reckless things," he said softly. "I haven't seen you in thirty years Saya, think about it. The last thing I want to see is you getting hurt, intentionally or not."

I nodded my head but no words escaped my suddenly parched throat. Why was I being so selfish? It's not like he took Hagi away from me. It's not like he…made the building collapse…oh god…My hands clenched themselves on the sides of my head, tangling into my hair as my eyes squeezed shut and I tried not to scream.

"_I love you…" _

Those cruel, cruel words. Crumbled into the rubble of the ceiling. Into the rubble of my emotions themselves. I was digging around, searching for what used to make me smile, but I found nothing tangible. A light weight touched my shoulders, and I slapped it away before realizing it was just Kai. My body was trembling and I could barely contain the tears. "Hagi…where is he? Tell me!?"

Kai backed away, staring at me with that pained gaze. _Sorry Kai, just leave me alone, ignore me…don't listen and you won't get hurt. Stay away from me and you'll live…you'll still be able to smile and mean it…_but the words stayed inside. I had no voice now. Julia came in and I took in her slim and startled form. "Hello Saya," she smiled gently. "Looks like you had a little too much fun at the beach, eh?"

We walked up to my room and as I lay down on the bed she got out her supplies. I was getting a transfusion as she wiped up my cuts; the more blood I received the more the cuts healed until they were finally all gone. She gave Kai an icy stare until he left the room, and then turned back to me. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

Finally the tears did come again, and she put a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. I understand the pain you're going through, having to kill your own sister…seeing everyone get much older…it's not an easy life."

Rage flooded me faster than I could blink away the tears. "You think I'm upset about that?" I nearly shrieked. "It has nothing to do with any of you! Hagi is dead, and it's all my fault. Hagi! Not you, not Kai, not…"

Kai had come back into the room, and Julia walked over to him in a swift stride that betrayed her age and slapped him. His face dropped and I sat up, confused. "What's going on?"

Neither of them looked at me. "You didn't tell her!" Julia yelled. "How could you not tell her That. Look at her, she's a mess!"

"Tell me what?" I asked, angry but unsure if I really wanted to hear what came next.

Kai lifted his face and gazed at me, tears streaming down. "I'm so sorry Saya…"

He wouldn't say anymore, so I looked to Julia and she continued. "Hagi…is alive."

"What?!" I whispered, rising from the bed. "How could you not tell me Kai?"

Betrayal like the day I found out Diva was my sister flooded me, and I ripped out the IV in my arm, splattering blood everywhere. "Saya wait, there's more!" Julia tried to stop me. "Hagi doesn't-"

"I don't care what else you have to say, until I find him, I don't want to see any of you!" with my grief-stricken whisper, I ran past them and out of the room, down the stairs and out into the falling night.

"Hagi doesn't remember anything Saya…" Julia mumbled, the words drifting through the darkened room unheeded and unheard.

AN: Sorry it took a while to update, I was working on some other writing that doesn't go on fan fiction. Then next chapter should be longer, hopefully anyways. Review Please!


	4. Chapter 4

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine

Chapter Four

The chill night air wakened my senses completely, and I felt better after getting some blood into my system. It amazed me how large the world seemed suddenly. I felt so insignificant . Julia…Kai…I'm certain he didn't lie to hurt me. But it still doesn't make any sense as to why he did. But if Hagi is alive, I could care less about anything else. Nothing else matters. There is nothing left to this heart, this soul, but Hagi. Without him, I would crumble into bones and ash and flow away with the wind.

My feet padded softly down the street, still fast enough to escape most people's notice. Where could he be? Why hadn't I found him yet? As I ran, no certain destination, my mind traveled through all the memories where Hagi smiled at me. The last smile I had seen left me empty and hollow, but still able to smile. But what's in a smile, anyway? Like words, they are so completely deceptive.

Suddenly the bittersweet agony of Hagi's cello notes drifted down the street to me. He was close. Already the familiar feeling of relief and safety washed over me. I turned the corner up ahead and stopped, leaning against the wall and quietly watching a moment. It was Hagi. A few people had gathered around, who couldn't? And he played by the light of the fattening moon. For a single moment, his eyes flicked up and met mine. Then he resumed playing, not even a glimpse of recognition in his gaze. Was he angry with me? For what? I stepped towards the group of people and stared at him, my fists clenched at my sides in frustration. The people wandered away since Hagi had stopped playing.

"Hagi?" I said softly.

"Yes," he replied with a polite smile. "And you, miss?"

I fell to my knees. No. No. No. This couldn't be the truth. Is this why Kai lied to me? To save me from this exact moment? "My name…my name is…" I could barely form the words, choking them out with the tears. "…Saya."

"It's a beautiful name," he commented. "Why are you crying? Do you need some help?"

"I need you…" I whispered between sobs. "you, Hagi.."

"I'm sorry?" he replied, putting away his cello. "I don't understand what you mean."

I looked up at him, my eyes red from all the crying I had done for his sake. Again his grey blue eyes met mine, but he didn't look away as quickly. He bent down before me and put his bandaged hands on my shoulders. "Have we met before?" His voice low and silky as ever, it broke my heart.

I grasped the hand on my shoulder and rubbed it against my cheek. He pulled away slightly and his face contorted into pain. He gripped the side of his head and backed away from me. "What's the matter?" I asked.

"My head…it started to hurt and throb just now," he replied with a grimace. "I'm sorry, but I need to get going."

I grabbed at his shirt sleeve when he stood up, I felt so utterly pathetic. "Please…don't leave me again…"

He just stood in place and stared down at me, turning away and clutching his head. But he didn't walk away, he just wouldn't face me. Suddenly he pulled me to my feet. "I think you need to get home too, something doesn't feel right…" he said in a low voice. "Would you like me to walk you home, Miss Saya?"

"Just Saya, please," I said, wiping away my tears and slight shock. "And yes, if it's not too much trouble."

We walked along the charcoal streets in a bitter silence. It was minutes before he spoke. "I think it's strange…you seem to know me, but I have no memory of you. Still, something about you is undeniably familiar…"

I managed a small smile in response, and he returned it. Maybe he would remember, it was just going to take time. By the time we reached the old bar, Hagi was clutching his head and his breath was ragged. The headache must be getting worse. I convinced him to come inside with me, feeling awkward for having to Make him do anything at all. Julia and Kai came running down the stairs; I was glad they didn't try to coma after me earlier. "Saya?" Kai asked.

"Julia, Hagi's head is killing him, is there anything you can do?" I tried, pleading evident in my tone. "Please?"

She smiled sadly. "I can try. Come upstairs Hagi, you can lie down and I'll see what I can do."

"Are you sure?" he asked, still standing next to me by the door. "I don't have any money to pay you with."

"It's quite alright," Julia sighed. "Consider it a favor to Saya."

With a nod he walked away from me and went upstairs after Julia. Kai stood still, watching me. "I'm sorry…" he said.

I walked forward and gave him a hug. "No…"I said. "I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. You only did it to protect me."

He sighed in relief and gave me the first genuine smile I had seen since I woke up. "Good. Hungry?" he asked.

My stomach growled in response and he started cooking something up. My eyes glanced towards the window and a tremor passed through my body. My eyes glinted over. What is it? Something…something is out there…"What do you want with the noodles Saya?" Kai asked, turning to wait for my answer. "Saya…?"

But I was already gone, running down the street to whatever presence was calling me…

AN: Tomorrow is the first Full day of school. So I might not get to update for a couple days or so. We'll see. Reviews help. Please…?


	5. Chapter 5

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine

Chapter Five

My heartbeat hammered through my veins as I ran down the darkened street. Only when a piercing howl was heard just yards away did I freeze. What was I doing? I didn't have my sword! But it was too late. The creature came tumbling from the alleyway with a series of growls and howls and huffs, and had obviously caught onto my scent. But it wasn't a chiropteran. It was….something else entirely.

I turned to make a run for it, but decided against putting the others in danger if I returned home. So instead I stood, still, and waiting for the beast…

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"Hagi…when did the headaches start?" Julia asked, placing a cool rag on his forehead.

"It was when that young woman…Saya…she grabbed my hand and suddenly the pain shot through my skull…" he said quietly, struggling to understand. "I feel like I should be remembering something."

Julia gave an encouraging smile. "I'm sure you will," she said, adding on to herself only. "She always has."

Hagi closed his eyes but didn't sleep, seeing as his body didn't really need it. Julia walked back downstairs to the nervous Kai. "Saya left," he said.

"She'll be back, I'm sure," Julia replied, not meaning to sound cold but always managing to. "As for Hagi, I'm quite certain that he lost his memory when the roof collapsed on his head thirty years ago. Saya is triggering his memories when they touch, and that's what causes the severe headache. His brain is trying to remember but he's too confused to let it."

"Thirty years of confusion…I'm surprised he isn't mad," Kai muttered, staring out the window.

"He learned a lot of patience from being with Saya," Julia smiled.

But her smile quickly turned to a frown when she heard a loud yell from upstairs. They both ran up the stairs and stopped in their tracks. Door ajar, window open, empty bed. Hagi was gone.

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The beast sauntered forward, great lobs of drool dripping from it's fangs. It was large like a grizzly bear with scales, and it was standing upright. Claws like daggers and violet eyes turned on Saya. What do I do what do I do what do I do? I was trying to keep my breathing calm as I dodged each of its slashes. Why was it after me, anyway? Was it the same corporation that stole Diva's twins?

My thoughts distracted me just enough and the beast landed a hit in me side, sending me to the ground with a scream. Blood oozed between my fingers as I clutched my hand over the wound. It stepped closer, it's fangs gleaming enough to look like a twisted, sick smile. I closed my eyes as it's claws rose to strike once more…this was it…

"Saya!" the voice I so longed to hear forced my eyes open, and I could have cried for joy to see him here.

He was before me, cello case slamming into the belly of the beast and sending it flying backwards into a brick wall. Then he turned with a calm expression. "Take it, Saya," he said in his soft voice, and only then did I notice my sword was in his outstretched hand.

I gripped it and smiled at him, cutting my finger on the edge and letting the blood dribble down onto the blade. My eyes glazed to red, and I lunged for the monster rising from the rubble of bricks and dust. One clean swipe and I had lopped off the creature's head, sighing in relief when it crumbled on the spot. I had been afraid since it didn't appear to be a chiropteran that my blood might not work. I was never more glad to be wrong.

Hagi approached me and gently took the sword from my hands, removing the blood with one quick swipe to the air. Then he returned the sword to its sheath and fell to his knees. I stepped closer to him, hugging him around the shoulders. "What is it Hagi?"

He just groaned and looked up at me, shock across his face. "What am I doing?"

AN: As usual, review pleaseeeee! Thanks to those that have.


	6. Chapter 6

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht.

Chapter Six

"Hagi…" I whispered, on my knees with him, holding him as he trembled and shook and sobbed.

Seeing this man of all people, sob, was harder than facing death itself. Harder than facing a deep sleep and awakening with a blank memory. "I don't understand what's going on inside my head…" he said gruffly, hand reaching my back. "I know you, think I love you, and then suddenly I don't even remember your face. Who are you? Who am I?"

He pushed me away now, staring intently at me. "Saya…" he mumbled, his hand trailing across my cheek.

Then abruptly he pulled away with a wince and a shudder. Staring at his wrapped hands, he looked back up at me. "And what is wrong with my arms? Something inside me tells me not to look, don't look," he said, expression no longer sorrowful but slightly demanding. "You know, don't you?"

His accusing tone hurt me, but I couldn't open my mouth to speak. With shaking hands he started to unwrap some of the bandages. I placed my hand over his. "Please don't…you aren't ready to see…"

But he ignored my gentle warning and proceeded. As the monstrosity of his true self was bared before him at last, he screamed so mournfully it came out like an anguished moan. As if someone had stabbed him in the heart. He stood up too quickly and stumbled, readjusting himself before turning away from me. And then he disappeared into the night. I stayed in place, hunched down on the street. This was my fault….all my fault. My Hagi…what have I done to you? Where did you go?

Again I saw the roof collapsing on him in my mind. Ah, that's right. That's where Hagi is. Buried in the rubble and the dust of my past. Our past. Or trapped, I suppose. Part of me said to stay put, accept that he'd probably be happier like this. But I knew the truth. Neither of us would. It'd kill us before we lived like this. I stood up, brushing the dirt off my knees.

I knew exactly where he was.

I didn't need to sense him to know. I could feel it, as certainly as the heartbeat pounding in my ears as I ran. Sure enough, when I approached the old, closed off building, he was there. Waiting for his memories, I suppose. But he would need me for that. I had to believe he needed me. He stared at me as I stepped over cracked boards and rock, a fearful yet expectant glint in his eyes. As I stepped closer to where he was, he started to move back, than changed his mind and remained still. Was he afraid of me?

Ignoring the pain that gripped me as he gazed at me like that, I stood before him. Standing on my tip toes, I kissed him and held his face with my hands. "You will remember me…" I breathed into his mouth as his hands shakily gripped me around the waist.

But I couldn't stay. He'd have to remember on his own. I pulled away from him reluctantly and walked out of the abandoned building without another word.

When I reached the bar, Julia had already left and Kai was struggling to stay awake in his chair. I tapped his shoulder. "I'm going up to bed, you should to, old man!" I smiled, shielding the sadness even from myself.

He looked worried but realized I probably wouldn't tell him what happened. "I'm glad you're safe…" he yawned, getting up and following me to the stairs. "goodnight Saya, we can talk in the morning…"

I expected that but I still groaned slightly. Kai went off to bed and I went to mine. Laying awake and staring at shadows on the floor. I touched my lips with trembling fingers. "Yow will remember…." I mumbled, before sleep finally overcame me and I drifted off.

AN: Review Please! They keep chapters coming even though I have Honors Writing homework….which I should be doing….Sorry short chapters are all I have time to write.


	7. Chapter 7

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht

Chapter Seven

Morning arose with the intensity of a fresh, impressionable day. Anything could happen. He could remember. Or he could run away, constantly struggling on the road to falling apart. If he traveled that worn path, I would most certainly follow. I was selfish, so painfully selfish. I knew. If Hagi decided to end his life somehow, I would follow him there too. Abandon everything and follow him into the depths of hell itself. My eyes were wide in bewildering thoughts of realization as Kai tapped on my door. "Breakfast is ready!" he called, and I listened as his footsteps padded back down the hall.

Stretching, I pulled back the covers and got out of bed. For now, I would wait. I would live, for now. Breakfast with Kai was so simple, so normal, I could have cried. This was how life had been before I met Hagi. Or Red Shield. Or myself. The I inside. That was when I didn't recall the true darkness that existed in the world. "you alright? Was it a bad egg?" Kai asked, a curious gaze directed at me.

"Oh, it was great," I replied and took another bite, trying to stop dazing off.

He just grinned at me and finished his plate before getting up and doing the dishes. I didn't even try to stop him this time. There was no point. I kept myself from trying to look out the window, so I was surprised at Kai's nest remark. "I have to open soon, but you don't have to stick around. You can wander around today, if you stay out of trouble."

"Thanks Kai," I replied, going upstairs to change. I pulled on a red tank top and some jeans, slipping on my tennis shoes and leaving with a quick wave to Kai.

The sky was bluer than I remembered, but then again it had been so long since I could actually enjoy a nice day. In the distance, I heard Hagi playing his mournful cello. Amazing that after everything, he still remembers that. Just not…not me. I turned around the opposite corner, not even giving him a glance. Who was afraid now? For the rest of the afternoon I spent time walking down the streets I used to jog along for track practice. And then I stayed put in a quiet little café to think, Claude Debussy playing softly through the speakers. Soothing and slow….why couldn't my thoughts be as such?

When the first traces of evening came to my attention, I finished my latte and started to head home. If I stayed out too long Kai would certainly wonder. On the way back I passed Hagi putting away his cello. Our eyes met and he didn't turn away for what seemed like an eternity; something smoldering in the blue depths of his gaze. I shivered and continued walking, not really understanding the feeling that came over me. But not disliking it, either.

Kai was just finishing up closing the bar when I came in. "Have a good day?" he asked, already starting in dinner.

"Yeah," I replied simply.

As he cooked it suddenly occurred to me how lonely his life must be. Why didn't he get married? Have children? Or move away? I wasn't that important. But I suppose after everything that happened when I was awake before, how could anyone want a family and a settled down life? Even I would be afraid of what might happen to them. Poor Kai. I had taken everything away from him. And yet…he loved me still. As if I really were his sister, not some monster. My appetite was vanquished by the negativity of my thoughts, and I excused myself and went up to my room.

After taking a shower and laying down in bed, I closed my eyes and attempted to fall asleep. But then I remembered the gaze Hagi had given me across the street. My heartbeat sped up and I couldn't calm down. I heard a creak near the window and my eyes darted over in fear. "Saya…" it was Hagi, coming through the window and sauntering over to me, voice low and husky.

I didn't say a word, I was too captivated by the intent expression on his face. It was….something like hunger? For me? And then his body weight was pinning me down, his breath upon my neck. "Saya…I might not remember you…but…"

"It's okay," I smiled in the dark, trying not to cry or anything as my arms wrapped around his back. "It's okay…I understand."

A/N: Please Review! I might not get to update tomorrow, I have to go to the doctor to see how the anemia is doing. And it's Friday, so chances are I won't be home after that either. Anyways….thank you to those who have reviewed!


	8. Chapter 8

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine.

A/n: Sorry about that last chapter. I accidentally put 'violin' instead of cello in one sentence. It only happened once though, I swear it won't happen again! And I would take more time to do longer chapters, but I don't have time. I write when I'm at home, and that isn't very long usually. But since it's the weekend, I'll make an exception. Sorry for any confusion. Please review…

Chapter Eight

"No, it's not," he said with a sigh, getting off of me and sitting at the end of my bed. "This isn't fair to you. I can't do this just because a part of me I don't understand longs for you. I need to remember you first."

I sat upright, my knees drawn up to my chest. He was right…of course. Even not really being himself, he was still always right. My voice had faded off someplace inside my head, the only sound in the room my pounding heartbeat in rhythm with Hagi's. "I'm sorry," he said finally, breaking the silence. "I think I should leave now."

As he rose from the bed I tugged at the corner of his sleeve. "Just stay here, lay with me, please?" I tried, attempting not to sound too pathetic.

He sighed and lay next to me, but didn't touch me. But at this point, I was glad simply to have him near if nothing else. I drifted off to the sound of his breathing near my back.

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When I woke up in the morning, he was gone. But I had figured as much. Kai was already calling me down for breakfast, so I climbed out of bed and headed downstairs. As I walked towards the kitchen, I glanced over at the sofa and noticed a long, lean shape sprawled across it. Hagi. My mood rose considerably, and I sat down at the table with a smile. "Sleep good?" Kai asked, setting a hot plate of food before me.

"Mmm," I replied through bites.

Soon enough Hagi was standing in the doorway, quietly observing from his position leaning against the wall. He seemed more himself at that moment than ever before. I smiled at him and he almost looked amused, instead of embarrassed. I turned back to my food. I finished quickly, a furious blush across my face. Kai just laughed and Hagi looked so confused. Everything was okay, for now. It seemed like I could actually handle living like this. But by the afternoon a sudden dread overcame me. "Kai…I need to talk to Julia and David."

"Saya, David died three years ago, after Julia's son," he said solemnly. "But why?"

"I see," I replied, a slight knot in my throat forming and beginning to constrict my voice ever so slightly. "Last night I was attacked. But it wasn't by the same creatures as before…these are something entirely different Kai."

His expression grew troubled and he went for the phone, calling Julia and asking her to come over as soon as possible. "I'm sorry Kai," I said, feeling horrible for turning the first good day into a troubled one.

"Don't be sorry, I'd rather be safe than sorry," he said with a forced smile.

I returned it as he pulled me into a brotherly hug, kissing the top of my head. I heard a low noise from across the room…was it a growl? I looked over to see Hagi glaring at Kai and I blushed. Was he jealous? Since when did the controlled, expressionless Hagi I knew show such things? Right….this wasn't the same man.

As if sensing the icy glare aimed at his back, Kai let me go and stepped back. Hagi's glare cooled and I sighed in relief. I was honestly afraid he was going to attack Kai for a moment. Then Hagi left the room and I heard the front door shut with a quick bang. I gave Kai and apologetic glance and he shrugged in response as I followed after Hagi. He was down the street a ways, leaning against a light pole and staring at the sky; his eyes closed but relaxed looking. "Are you alright?" I asked softly, letting my voice carry on the wind rather than step too close.

He remained still as he was for a few moments. "Yes, I don't understand why I did that," he admitted to the sky. "Sorry. Something inside me just roared up seeing someone else hold you like that."

"Something….inside?" I asked excitedly, daring myself a few steps closer to him.

"Yes…as I felt it rising, like a beast uncoiling in the back of my mind, it seemed to growl 'she's mine'," he replied, eyes openly briefly. "I just don't understand."

"Does it hurt?" I asked, finally standing right before him.

"What?" he asked.

"Your head, does it hurt?" I asked again.

"Oh, no," he replied distantly.

I placed my hand over his chest. "And here?"

Finally he looked down at me, an unreadable expression in his eyes. He gently reached for my hand and pulled it to his lips. "Yes," he said, but it was so quiet it could have simply been the breeze.

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"Where are they?" Julia asked, growing impatient in the kitchen with Kai, her foot tapping lightly on the tile.

"Talking? I guess…" Kai shrugged, beginning to wonder himself when they finally entered.

"It's about time," Julia snapped; cold but playful.

"Sorry…" I smiled sheepishly, walking into the kitchen with them as Hagi remained in the doorway again.

"Anyways…what did you want to ask me about?" Julia asked.

Again the seriousness and dread flooded my mind before I spoke. "It's about the twins…just who took them, exactly?"

Julia stared at me long and hard before deciding to reply. "That…I cannot say for sure," she said, pausing for a moment and taking a deep breath. "David was still trying to find that out before he died."

"I see…" I said, my gaze directed to the floor.

"Why?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Well…I was attacked a little while ago. The creature was still destroyed by my blood, but it wasn't a chiropteran, at least I don't think it was."

"It's not," Julia replied, staring past me at nothing in particular. "I should know. That's how David was killed."

A sorrowful hush consumed the room as I finally made up my mind. "Let's find them," I replied with as much courage as I could muster. "Let's find them, avenge David, and rescue the twins."

They all looked at me with wide eyes; in shock. "Saya," Kai said, almost hurt. "I don't want you putting yourself into that sort of life again."

"It's inevitable. This is what I am for," I said, looking over at Hagi. "It's what we are for."


	9. Chapter 9

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht.

Chapter Nine

Julia let out a long, measured sigh and glanced over at Kai's forcedly blank expression. "I'll gather up all of David's files on them," she said, staring seriously at me. "And we'll see what we can do starting tomorrow evening. For now, I'm going home and to bed."

"Thank you…Julia," I bowed slightly as she left, a sadness gripping me as I realized what sort of sacrifice this would be to her heart.

Kai, being too nice of a person to let me see how angry he was feeling, just mumbled goodnight and went off to bed. I turned to the nonchalant Hagi in the doorway. "Well?" I asked.

"What?"

"Will you help me?" I asked simply.

He stared at me, unreadable. Then he hesitantly made his way towards me and ran a bandaged hand across my cheek, and my eyes closed as I leaned into the touch. "If that is what you want," he replied.

My eyes shot open in surprise. "You remember!?" I almost shrieked.

"No? Did I used to say things like that?" he seemed confused again.

"It doesn't matter," I replied, still happy even if he didn't understand why. "Come on…"

I headed for the stairs and turned to see him staring at me with a slight frown. "Huh?" he said.

"Come on upstairs, you can stay here with me," I said, adding on more quietly. "Unless you don't want to."

Hagi let out a quick sigh of frustration before following after me up the stairs. Once we were in my room with the door firmly closed, I sat on my bed and stared out at the blackened sky. It was a new moon tonight, and the sky was so dark it looked like a tear in the sky revealing the cold space above. Clouds swirled restlessly in the distance, a storm brewing. Hagi stood on the other side of the room for a while, still unsure. Then finally he came over and sat down on the bed near me. I leaned back against his chest and felt him flinch slightly.

Constantly I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't used to this, and not to be hurt by his reactions. But it was still very, very hard. "So…Hagi," I started, breaking the quiet veil over the room. "What's it like being alive thirty years without knowing who you are?"

"Thirty years?" he questioned, his arm draped lazily around my stomach. "I don't feel like it's been that long. But who's to say? Everything has been a fog; a dream. I'm not sure what each day is supposed to bring, I only end up swimming through the maddening confusion when I try to remember anything."

I turned my face enough to bury it in the crook of his neck, breathing in softly. "I'm sorry," I whispered against his skin. "This is all my fault, you know."

"Is it?" he mused curiously, but not accusingly as I had feared he might. "How?"

I gulped, fighting off the tears and the rising knot in my throat. "Well, thirty years ago, we were in a battle. It was a battle with the other chevaliers, in fact. And chiropteran. You protected me….fought for me. And then you…you…"

"It's okay, tell me," he said, voice soft as he gently stroked my waist-length hair.

"You admitted how you felt about me. Made me want to live. Said you loved me and then…the building collapsed right on top of you, right in front of me! I thought you were dead…and now…I'm so sorry Hagi," I said, the sobs finally racking through my body as his arms tightened around me.

His lips touched the top of my hair and he said lightly, "I don't blame you, Saya."

Those words just made me cry even harder, but at least they were more out of relief. Like Kai, he had reasons to despise me. I would never understand why they didn't. It only hurt them more to love me. What was there to love so strongly, anyways? Now I was the confused one. Hagi grabbed me under the chin and turned my face up towards him. "I mean it, I don't blame you," he said again, kissing me gently and unsure, the tormenting thoughts eminent in the press of his lips.

My arms snaked their way around his neck and he groaned slightly as my mouth opened to his, and he gently pushed me down into the bed. His lips trailed down to my neck, tugging my shirt down enough to kiss my shoulder. "Hagi.." I moaned, his hands trailing my sides and sliding up under my shirt.

But then his actions became shaky, and trembling, he pulled away from me. "It's not right," he grumbled, becoming less sure of the truth in the words.

I didn't bother to protest, I was out of breath anyway. He pulled me against him and we lay like that, his eyes closed to relax even though he couldn't sleep. "But this…I could certainly get used to," he said playfully, pulling me more tightly against him.

I smiled into the dark as my eyes closed. This was how everything felt it should be. If only I could freeze and stay in this moment forever. But tomorrow would be a different matter. Tomorrow could end up a night like thirty years ago. Tomorrow we could even die. So for now, right here, I would let this linger. I would smile.

A/N: Review…..please?


	10. Chapter 10

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht.

Chapter Ten

I was awakened at dawn by the feel of Hagi's weight shifting the mattress. Sleepily, I peaked open an eye to see him walking over to the window and staring out with a sigh; one hand reaching up and clenching the side of his head. I noticed that his hand was also shaking. Quietly, I rose from the bed and padded over to him. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I asked into his back. "Are you okay?"

But of course, I knew it was a stupid question. Of course he wasn't. "It's just my head again," he grumbled. "I remembered something."

"Really?"

"I think so, unless it was just a dream. I remember being a lot younger, you were at least a foot above me. And you were teaching me how to play the cello…" his voice trailed off as he replayed the memory in his mind.

"That happened," I said with a smile.

He said nothing, leaving the room in silence until the sun completely rose. We could smell Kai's cooking in the kitchen below, and we went downstairs before he even needed to call us. Surprisingly, he didn't looked shocked to see Hagi entering the kitchen with me. I wonder…what did he think…? I sat down at the table, a blush across my face. Now was not the time to be thinking about…..that. Hagi merely stood against the wall, staring around the room but always coming back to me when he thought I didn't notice. It must be strange for him not understanding why he does not hunger nor sleep. Finishing our breakfast, we all tried to play out the day 'normally' until Julia showed up.

Kai still hadn't spoken to me though. But he had more then enough reasons to be angry with me. Or maybe he was disappointed? I pushed the thoughts away before they got too distracting. The twins…I wonder…were they even still alive? I had to hope. But if they were, what were they going through? Somehow I doubted they were getting respectful treatment. They were probably being treated like objects. Tasty candy for the scientists that kidnapped them. I shook my head as if that would clear it out, but no such luck. I hadn't even noticed Hagi come to stand next to me. I looked up at him and he rose an eyebrow in curiosity, but didn't say a word. Words meant less and less here, these days. Actions meant more, and lasted.

The door creaked open in the front room and Julia came into the kitchen, a bustling pile of papers and folders in her arms. Her face was tired and worn, as if she hadn't slept. I couldn't help but notice the way her shoulders seemed to sag and how dark it was beneath her eyes. How old was she again? I frowned at my own depressing thoughts. "Well, this is everything," she said, her voice slicing through the silence like a knife. "There is nothing else. His computer files are locked."

"Thank you," I smiled meekly. "I really appreciate you helping me."

She surprised me with a small smile of her own. "It's like old times, eh?"

I nodded and began glancing through the papers as Kai sat down. "It would seem…they aren't a major company. In fact, they have only been running for about 33 years. Seems you caught their attention Saya, and they'd like to study you. That's why they kidnapped the twins. But it's not enough. Diva's children are not you. They are merely bait to get you."

"I see," I said calmly, trying not to gulp. "And what about the creatures?"

"Well, they are created in a very similar manner as the chiropteran, which is why they are still destroyed by your blood. But since this is just a bunch of rogue scientists sticking their noses in the wrong place, their creatures are less advanced. They weren't human, ever. And so they are more feral, which could prove even more dangerous."

We all sat quietly in thought. "So were are they?" I asked finally.

Julia smiled bitterly. "That I do not know. But I do know they'll come to us."

Now I did gulp. The only way to get them to show was if I became bait. "So are you saying I should just stroll around in the dark until one of the creatures decides to attack?"

Julia nodded, her smirk gone. "Alright. I'll go by myself, and Hagi will follow but stay hidden until I'm attacked. You and Kai follow even farther behind, I don't want you getting hurt."

Kai couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Trail far behind? Do you want to get hurt? We can help you Saya!" he shouted, a fist slamming on the table. "I can help you, damnit…"

"I know," I said, struggling to keep my voice from cracking. "I know you can Kai…but…someone will have to take care of the twins when I'm asleep, right?"

He turned his head away in defeat. He knew the truth of my words, as I did. Besides, I would heal. He wouldn't. Especially not fast enough in an older body. Before it could overwhelm me, I pushed away the sudden rising thought of Riku. And my father. Kai would not die like them. He would Not. I wouldn't allow it. And I'd just have to hope Hagi's instincts kicked in when it was time. If not…well…"I'm ready," I said, staring out at the dimming sky through the door.

Julia and Kai watched as I turned and swiftly walked out the door, not daring to turn around and see the expression on their faces. Julia was loading two guns for them when I was completely out the door, and Hagi followed after. Before I could tell him to hide, he was out of sight, probably following me from the rooftops.

I took a deep breath and began sprinting down the charcoal streets.

This was it.

A/N: Review please…

oh, and don't worry, it's suppsoed to say Hagi 'dreamed'


	11. Chapter 11

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht.

Chapter Eleven

"_If there's nothing to give, how can we ask for more? That look on your face…is delicate."_

-Damien Rice-

The streets blurred beneath me like cold, dark waters; the harsh chill of the night air sucked down into my lungs with forced ease. My heart beat wildly in my chest, as if it frantically wished to escape. Or was it me? But I knew. I was…afraid. What if this didn't work? What if the twins were already dead? What if Kai died? What if we were fighting for nothing? What if I was destroyed? What if…?

Suddenly I froze in place, hot breath on my neck forcing me to whirl around in surprise. Hagi pulled me against him roughly. "You need to calm down," he said softly. "You won't be able to fight if you're that afraid."

Reluctantly, I pulled away from him, ignoring the lingering scent filling my senses before it could distract me. "I know," I replied, taking a few deep breaths to fill my hoarse lungs. "But it's not like I have a choice."

He said nothing in reply, and again I was finding it hard to believe he wasn't that same Hagi as thirty years ago. His cello case on his back, he walked beside me in the darkness. And then we heard it. A low growl in the shadows ahead. My hands were shaking, whether from fear or the adrenaline rush I couldn't say for certain. It stepped into the light of the streetlamp, a nasty snarl distorting it's already beastly face. It's teeth gleamed a sickly yellow in the dim light, drool foaming slightly at the sides. Claws bared, it hunched up onto it's hind legs and stood still as if in an attack stance.

"Saya," came Hagi's voice at my shoulder, pressing the cold hilt of my sword into my hand.

I gripped it, my hand grazing his as I removed it smoothly from it's sheath. But that small, delicate contact had no effect on me now, my eyes had already altered to their blood red state. I almost smirked when the beast's hair began to bristle. Did it sense that I'm a monster? That it should be afraid? Now I did smile, though bitterly. Hagi's face was shadowed and expressionless next to me. Finally the beast lunged for at us; Hagi blocking it with his cello case. Quickly I pricked my finger a drew up my blade after the blood had trickled down it's length. My arms raised high, ready to strike. My knees slightly bent as I prepared to attack the howling beast. And then…"Saya! Don't kill it!" came voices that made me turn around in horror as the beast jumped passed me.

Kai and Julia came huffing into view, guns drawn as the beast hustled it's way towards them. "We need to wound it enough so that it'll return to it's base!" Julia yelled through labored breaths. "Your sword will kill it instantly. So wait!"

I stood still as they shot the beast repeatedly, it's howls becoming twisted moans as it was rendered weak by the loss of blood. It sauntered side to side, no longer able to swish a claw at them. I sighed in relief as it turned to run away. I stepped back as it rushed past, blood pouring from it's wounds. Hopefully it would lead us back before it died.

I waited for Kai and Julia to catch up before we took off after it, following the blood as it ventured out of sight. Then it finally came to an abrupt stop after about a mile of tracking it. Before us was an immense old factory, grime and cracks and mud caking the entire building. The front door had been busted down, a bloody mess pooled with the rubble of it. As we stepped inside the dark interior, a putrid smell about the place, Julia started mumbling who would try the stairs and who would go to the basement, but I couldn't quite follow the words. "They're below," I said low enough to be a growl.

Silently they followed me as I made my way down the black stairs, a light visible far below. Blood was on the steps, too. When we reached the bottom and entered the light of the room, Julia and Kai let out a gasp and we froze. The beast before us was shriveling up, foam and blood spewing from it's mouth. It convulsed for a few moments before going stock still. It was dead. I looked around the rest of the room, cages lining the walls with shining eyes peering out. They're were hundreds of them, some hairier and more grotesque than the others. A shudder passed through my before I continued on to another room, Hagi right behind me.

Immediately the men at their computers let out hollers of surprise when we slammed open the door. Julia screamed. Between the circle of their computers were two large tubes. Inside the tubes were two girls, not much younger than myself in appearance. They looked starved; their discolored skin clinging tightly to their bones. Kai hunched over and puked. "What the hell do you people think you're doing?!" one of them yelled at none of us in particular, having found his voice.

"Whatever do you mean?" I hissed, my hand clenching my sword so tightly it bled. "This is what you wanted, right? Me? Saya!?"

Their screams in surprise was the last thing I heard before anything human in my mind was completely shut out.

Then I lost it.

A/N: I'll update tomorrow, so don't kill me for the cliffy, please. And review! It's always appreciated!


	12. Chapter 12

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht

Chapter Twelve

Screaming…

They were screaming….why were Kai…and Julia…screaming?

Suddenly my mind became my own once more, and I looked around the room in shock. Whatever humans had occupied the place before, now only bits of flesh and blood and bone were scattered about the blood-soaked floor. My heart was beating so fast I felt like puking. It was me. I realized with bile rising in my throat. This was what I had just done. Because I was a monster. Hagi walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?" he asked, concern thick in his voice.

I opened my mouth to speak but the words were strangled. Dropping my sword, I fell to my knees, splashing even more blood onto my already stained clothes. But even still, the tears did not come pouring down my cheeks. I tried desperately to recall why we were even here. Oh…the twins. I looked up to see Kai and Julia pulling them out of their captive tubes, a greenish liquid spilling out and mixing with the red. One of them, body limp in Kai's shaking arms, had a slightly bluish complexion tinting her body. Julia looked down at him, the other girl coughing and sputtering in her arms. "Is she…?" Julia started, not able to finish the words.

Kai just nodded and buried his face in the girl's cold shoulder, tears streaming down his face as his body shook with the choked sobs. "I'm so sorry…so sorry…" he whispered bitterly before setting her down and standing up. "We can't stay here. And we can't take her with us, it would only leave the option of this happening again."

Julia nodded and I realized his eyes had darted to me when he said 'this'. I hung my head in shame, unable to stand up. I couldn't even save them both…and I had…I had…"Get up, Saya," Hagi said, pulling me up himself, his voice soothing yet demanding all at once.

Hagi pulled me onto his back and I buried my face there, unable to face even the blurred moonlight outside. As we left, the caged beasts were completely silent. In fear, I realized. In fear of me. I'm certain they had heard the screams. The entire walk home was a silent one, the twin that lived holding hands with Julia and Kai, her face painfully blank. What had she been through? We arrived back at the bar and Julia laid the girl down on the couch before returning to the kitchen with Kai. I had missed the words passing between them, and when I walked in I was confused. "I'll do it, I should," Kai said, face strained but no longer crying.

Julia just stared after him as he left, a long sigh leaving her lungs. "You should just…go to bed Saya," she said, and I almost flinched from the fear I detected in her tone.

But it was fear and something else…what? My body still hadn't moved an inch, I felt I couldn't, and Hagi picked me up and carried me up the stairs, placing me on the bed without a word. Had I frightened him too? I turned away from him, my face buried in my pillow as I squeezed my eyes shut. Hagi lay down next to me, one arm draped lazily over m stomach. "Thank you," I whispered, thankful for the delicate gesture, and drifted off to an exhausted sleep.

"_Saya? Saya!?" came a voice, but my mind was too far gone to recognize the voice. _

_The scientists before me scrambled from their chairs like mice, and I smiled. So weak, so insignificant. Stumbling over the numerous chords and such scattered about the floor, I laughed, a low growl-like noise coming from my throat. And then it was my blade meeting bone, my eyes meeting screams; fear. They scrambled away from me, legless, armless, and still I went for them. There would be nothing left. Nothing. I continued my fury induced madness in a blaze of red, the whole ordeal flashing before me like a blood red garden. Blood like rain…so wrong yet so sweet…_

_And then they were gone. Eradicated by the beast snarling inside me. Only bits hinting at something human remained. Then I gulp caught my attention and I spun around. It was Kai and Julia and Hagi. The fear in Kai and Julia's eyes just infuriated me more, and I stepped towards them with my blade raised high. And then they screamed…_

"No!" I shouted, awake and panting in a cold sweat next to Hagi.

He was gazing down at me quietly, unsure of what to say, I'm sure. "I tried…I tried to attack you guys…and Julia…and…oh god…I'm a monster!" I whispered, my voice distant even though we were right next to each other. "Why are you still here, Hagi? I think you'd be better off living your life not knowing who I am. Or who you were. Leave me alone and be happy."

Before the tears had a chance to fall, Hagi had already wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. "That's not going to happen," he said in his deep voice. "I could not leave even if I wanted to."

"Why not?" I almost shouted.

Then his lips were pushed against mine, no longer gentle and unsure but instead rough and hungry. This was his answer, I suppose. Wrapping my arms around his back, he leaned over me and pinned me down with the weight of his lean body. The burning intensity of his gaze had me breathless, and I pulled him down for another kiss. "This is what I choose," he replied, teeth grazing my lips slightly. "To stay…"

A/N: Am I cruel for ending chapters like this? I'm sorry, it's just a bad habit, honestly. But if it keeps you reading, then hey, I'm doing my job I suppose. Review Please!


	13. Chapter 13

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht

"_It's delicate…"_

Chapter Thirteen

The sudden hunger pooled itself in my stomach and threatened to consume me. Hagi's scent…his weight over me…the taste of his lips on mine…the salt on his skin…there were no words for this. All that I could say was it was delicate; requiring no words or thoughts. Merely feelings, heartbeat, touches…breath.

His knee had pressed it's way between my thighs and I arched at the touch, unfamiliar but not unwanted. The bandages on his hands skimmed roughly over my skin, but it was a delicious sort of rough. My fingers ran through his silky black hair, and I wanted to press my face into it and just breath for a while. I felt him chuckle against my skin as he kissed down from my neck to my shoulder, sending another shiver up my spine. "Saya…" he breathed, and I smiled at the huskiness lacing his already deep tone.

Delicately, he lifted my shirt up and pulled it off. I scratched at his stomach before removing his as well. He let out a low groan as my fingers traced over his back and spine and shoulder blades. He had been through so much over the years, for my sake, and yet his skin was still blissfully smooth. Gently but insistently, he pushed my hands over my head and into the mattress with a firm grip. Trailing his tongue down my stomach to the rim of my pants, I arched again, letting out a gasp. "Hagi…please…" I whispered, not sure what I was asking for, only knowing that I wanted it.

Slowly he unzipped my pants and slid them off my legs, watching each portion of skin as it was revealed. I tugged at his pants and I helped him shrug them off, our eyes never leaving each other. He placed a soft kiss at the base of my stomach before looking up at me unsurely, and I nodded in response with a slight gulp. In one swift motion, he was positioned above me, staring intently at my face. What was he afraid of? Hurting me? And then he was pressing into me, and I almost screamed. I had been alive for decades, and never once experienced this sort of thing. But Hagi just leaned down and ran his tongue up my neck, and I calmed down and adjusted to the feeling.

His pace started slow, but sped up as I was unable to suppress the moans rising in my throat. Finally I started bucking up my hips in response, keeping in tune with him. He groaned and his thrusts grew faster, harder, more primal. We were both screaming each other's names through clenched teeth by the time it was finished. Lazily, he traced my side with his hands as we lay watching each other, trying to catch our breaths. I placed my hand on the side of his face, feeling the pulse beat furiously from his temple.

Then I grasped his bandaged hand and turned it so that his palm was facing up. I lowered my face down to his wrist and placed a kiss there. When my eyes met his again he was just watching me curiously, something lingering in his eyes I couldn't quite comprehend. Snuggling against the heat of his body, I sighed and fell contentedly to sleep.

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It hadn't even been three hours by the time I woke up and was compelled to run to the window. In the distance of the dim, violet tinted sky I saw flames. A trail of menacing smoke rising as well. Where was Kai? Frantically I ran down the stairs, running down the hall but then back to my room to get some clothes. I threw on my nightgown and ran downstairs, Hagi following after. Julia was sitting at the table, tired looking but not asleep. "Julia…? Where did Kai go?" I asked.

She didn't meet my gaze but I was relieved the fear had left her voice. "He went to burn down the abandoned factory. No one should find what happened there, or else it just leaves an opening for it to happen again," she said seriously but solemnly.

We waited with her until dawn came, and as the first traces of sunlight seeped in Kai returned. His face was dirty and tear stricken, but he smiled at us. "It's done," he said. "Hopefully for good, this time."

Tears gripped me, and I ran forward and hugged Kai. I had caught him off guard, but he didn't flinch. Wrapping his arms around me too, I apologized for everything. For how selfish I had been, for what he had been through, for what I had taken from everyone's lives. But he just pushed me away, as always, smiling and telling me it was alright and not my fault at all.

After he went in the kitchen to talk to Julia, Hagi and I walked into the living room. I walked up to the twin and stroked her hair once. She looked just like Diva, even if she appeared half starved and sick. She was wearing one of Kai's old shirts, and the simple attire made me smile. Would she be his daughter again? Keep him company while I was asleep? I hoped so. It seemed like I had been sitting there for hours before I finally returned to the kitchen, stopping near the doorway before entering, freezing at the words I heard. "…we have to. If she already went berserk once, we could have a serious problem. This whole town could be butchered like what happened in Vietnam, and this time she might not recover mentally," Julia said.

"I…I understand," Kai replied, his voice slightly strained.

I backed away from the door in horror. They…were they going to force me back to sleep?

A/N: Probably only one or maybe two chapters left. I have a writing assignment tomorrow night so I might not be able to update until Friday. I'm sorry! Please review!


	14. Chapter 14

-1

Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine.

AN: Sorry for the late review. I haven't been home for more than an hour at a time this whole weekend. Ughh…and we had a 'family' dinner tonight, which is why I've escaped to the computer to update. Hopefully you enjoy it! Review please

Chapter Fourteen

"_Watching the grey sky and acting like a good guy…the water came to realize it's dangerous size….the mountain came to recognize its deep and rocky side…"_

-Feist-

I ran up the stairs in a blurry haze of tears and frustration. The scream boiling in my throat burned like fire, and I struggled to contain it. How could they do this to me? How could Kai…? How could…

Hagi had followed me up, of course, and sat near me when I threw myself onto the bed. I turned to him, not meaning to but releasing my tension on him. My words were like poison, I realized, even before they came out. But I couldn't stop them. "What must you think of me, Hagi?" I spat. "Do you think I'm a whore? This woman who'd sleep with a man who didn't even know her? I'm so disgusting…I'm such a monster…no wonder they want to lock me away, force me to sleep again."

By now the tears had overcome me, and I flinched slightly when Hagi's hand rubbed along my back. "What kind of man does that make me? Sleeping with someone I do not know? Am I really like your Hagi?" He said, but his tone was anguished, not angry or harsh.

I turned so that I was facing him, and my hand reached up to touch his cheek. "No…no…you are Hagi," I answered quietly. "You are the Hagi that is free of his extreme self restraint. But I know this is what lingered within the true Hagi. You."

The confusion of our conversation had us both holding onto each other, desperately trying to cling to this delicate moment. "I love you, Saya," Hagi said. "Memories or not."

"I love you too…" I spoke into his shoulder, a small flicker of relief in my mind. "..Hagi."

Suddenly the deep sleep didn't sound so bad. At least I could depend on having someone when I woke up, no matter how much the world might change in thirty years. Hagi would always be here…would always be mine, if nothing else. I would sleep a thousand years if it meant Kai and Julia were safe, only knowing that I had something to depend upon when I awoke. I slipped from Hagi's arms and walked towards the door. "I'm ready," I whispered.

Hagi stared at me long and hard, the pain and understanding fighting evidently in his eyes. But he knew, as I knew. It had to be done, for everyone's sake. Quietly we went back downstairs, and I realized they were still in the kitchen. I walked over to the couch where the twin was laying. She was awake now, and I sat next to her on the couch. Her eyes were gleaming with water in the dim light, and I spoke to her. "What's your name?" I asked.

"Sayuri," she replied, her voice so alike to Diva's I stifled a gasp.

"It's a beautiful name," I smiled. "And…what was your sister's name? If you don't mind…"

"Her name was Sayaka," she replied softly. "Like Saya. That's you, right? Kai picked her name."

I nodded, shock flooding me. Kai had named her after me. And then the girl died. The other me, died. My heart tightened with grief for him. This was harder than I had previously imagined. He was losing two of us at once. Would he still be alive when I woke up again? I pushed away the thought.

Taking her hand, I pulled her along with me to the kitchen. Julia looked up at me; Kai faced the table. "Saya…we're sorry but-" Julia started.

"I know," I cut in, forcing the most genuine smile I could muster. "It's okay. I understand."

Kai looked up at me now, his age evident in the expression he wore. "Are you sure?" He said. "We won't force you to. At least, I won't."

"I'm sure," I replied. "Just don't forget about me," I continued, holding back the tears. "Take good care of this girl, Sayuri. Keep an eye on Hagi…"

Now Kai was before me, hands on my shoulders pulling me into a hug. "I will," he said. "And no one will forget you, so don't forget us."

With words out of the way, and nothing left to mention, we headed for the door. Hagi walked at my side, holding my hand. Sayuri with Kai. Julia followed behind, her eyes drifting around as the sun revealed the strands of grey mixed with the blond. It occurred to me at that moment that this was the last time I would see Julia alive. When we reached the top of the steps, I hugged Julia tightly. "Thank you," I said. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," she replied, and I knew that she understood what I actually meant.

Kai was next, then Sayuri. I would really like to get to know her next time. It'd be like having another little sister, after all. Finally it came to Hagi. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in, hoping to wake up with the same scent filling me. I pulled away reluctantly, and he pulled my hand to his lips and brushed them along my skin. It was the last shiver to pass through me today. We needed no words of parting.

Finally I climbed into my old cocoon, and Julia approached me, a syringe in her hand. "Sleep well, Saya," she said one last time.

I drifted off to the sound of Sayuri and Kai saying goodnight, and smiled before falling completely asleep.

I had something to wake up for.

A/N: Agh….only the epilogue left….which makes me sad. I was really enjoying writing this. Review please!


	15. Chapter 15

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Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine

Chapter Fifteen/ Epilogue

The all too familiar feeling overcame me. Swimming…drifting…twisting in the sea eluding time and space and reality. Blurs…comprehended into shapes. Shadows. Faces. Smiles and voices. Screams and blood. Always blood…Suddenly I'm hungry, clawing my way out into the night. Breathing in true air, my lungs sputtering to keep up with the wind I had not been accustomed to for a very, very long time.

Thirty years.

And he was right there.

Playing his cello in the soft, buttery light of the moon sat Hagi. Right on the steps to this godforsaken place. Before I could open my mouth to mold a single word, perhaps his name, he had already drawn his eyes up to meet mine with a smile. "Saya…" Deep voice, throaty.

And now I'm sinking into him, my hair draped behind me like a midnight veil. It stretched across the stone in dark tendrils, and I realized how badly it needed to be cut. A faint memory fluttered in the pockets of my mind…That red-haired boy cutting my hair. Kai? Yes, Kai. But he was an old man now. Alive, I knew, but how I could not say. I leaned up, so hungry…pressing my lips to Hagi's in a slight desperation for touch. More memories came back. David…dead. Julia…probably.

Sayuri. The twin that lived. Was she still with Kai?

I pulled away from Hagi with a sigh, thankful I had freedom at this point of awakening. Freedom I would pray to last. No beasts to fight inside or out, I pleaded to the wind. Wordless, Hagi hoisted me onto his back and walked towards the bar. As we walked through the streets, I was glad for the coverage my hair provided. Though evening, there were still plenty of people about. Old houses I had once recognized now seemed different. Updated? Refurnished maybe? Who knew.

Places change.

We reached the bar as it was closing. An old man was flipping the sign from open to closed, looking out into the dark and gasping at us. I stared at his eyes. Yes, it was Kai all right. Grey hair and a slight hunch now, but still undeniably Kai. I raised a hand to wave shyly, and he just stared at us for a few more moments in shock. Then he smiled. "I almost had it timed right this time. I was keeping up for the first twenty years!" he laughed, and I couldn't help but smile in return. "Guess I lost track…"

Then the awkward silence of lost time invaded that little portion of street. We followed him inside and I was relieved to see at least this had not changed. It would always be my home. "Kai? Is there somebody here?" The familiar voice had me straining through my memories.

"It's them, Mao," he sighed grumpily. "I told you I wasn't senile yet."

Mao! My eyes widened in shock at Kai, who merely shrugged as she entered the kitchen. "She convinced herself I needed looking after," he chuckled.

"My god…" Mao raised a hand to her mouth, not afraid just surprised. "I can't believe this is…oh my god…"

Then she passed out and Kai and Hagi carried her over to the couch to lie down. "I knew that would happen," Kai said.

After that, we sat in the kitchen and talked for hours, Kai informing me of what had occurred in the last three decades while cutting my hair. When he was finished, it was shorter and spikier than I was used to, but that was fine. I had changed too, after all. Why not my hair? The moon had already begun it's decent, and Kai's voice grew tired and low. "Yeah, Sayuri is asleep upstairs in Riku's old room," he said. "Saya…I just wanted to…apologize. We shouldn't hav-"

"Don't," I cut him off. "It needed to be done. You guys are safe, that's what counts."

Kai sighed in defeat and said goodnight. His old body winning the fight with his excitement. "You staying?" I teased Hagi, knowing the answer.

Hagi didn't reply, but instead picked me up and ran us up the stairs into my old room. That too, had not changed. After slipping into a nightgown, I walked down to Sayuri's room and peaked in. she had stopped aging, like me, I realized. Like her mother. I closed the door to her room and returned to mine. Hagi was standing by the window, staring out and up at the sky. I walked up to him and gripped his hand, kissing it as he had mine before I had fallen asleep.

Not needing a voiced request, Hagi picked me up and laid me down on the bed, climbing next to me. "You waited," I smiled, my hand raking through his silky hair.

"For you," he replied, kissing my forehead, nose, lips. "Saya."

"Hagi.." I breathed into his mouth, my hands digging into his back as I pushed myself against him.

And then we let our hunger consume us. Words were forgotten once again, only touch and taste and smell remained. Afterwards, I lay facing the ceiling, cool air on my face. I thought back to how my mind once twisted with the madness and cold waters and confusion. What changed, I wonder?

"Saya…" Hagi whispered into my hair, pulling me tightly against his warm body. "I remember."

I smiled.

We had reached the place of still waters.

THE END

A/N: Aghh! I hope this was better than the previous chapter. I just realized how horribly it was written, and I apologize. I hope you liked this story! I'm not certain as to what I'll write a fanfic for next, so…just look for me…I guess? If you want to of course. Please Review!


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